Pucker Power

My favorite question of late is: So, is motherhood everything you thought it would be?

This question comes from friends, old co-workers, strangers in the supermarket, and even my own mother (though I am pretty sure, she’s just looking for an I told you so opportunity). Oddly enough, I don’t know how to answer this question.

I am convinced that being a mom closely resembles sucking on a lemon. No rational person does it! And, no matter how many people try and tell you what it is going to be like, you have NO idea what it is really like until you try it yourself. Sure, there are expectations and ideas of what it’s like, but in the end there is nothing that can prepare you for the extreme, face contorting, life changing experience.

Being a parent, just like sucking on a lemon has in the beginning a sincere desire to “try it out”. You rationalize that if your brothers and sisters can do it, it can’t possibly be that bad… heck, even your parents did it. Unfortunately, nothing can prepare you for the pucker. Once you stick that lemon in your mouth, there is no going back, and you will never be the same.

No fail, as every muscle in your face is stretched and screaming and as the lemon is spit on to the table, there is an eternal vow that you will never do that to yourself again. But, ultimately, the memory fades, and before you know it, you find yourself seated at the table, strangely drawn to the lemons in front of you thinking, “I'm sure it will be different this time, it can't be as bad as I remember. Maybe just one more try…”

David has brought to my attention that the recent posts have an "angry at the world" overtone... oops. I will do my best in the future to keep my emotions in check.

Free at Last

David and I were chatting with some neighbors - okay okay, David was chatting and I was standing awkwardly - and they were telling us about how they are raising their two boys media free. The conversation made a lasting impression. We grow up with lessons about the importance of being smoke free... drug free... sugar free etc; and now apparently there are crazy parents out there trying to take away something else that is fun!
I felt sorry for the boys as I realized they will never know the joys of watching the X Men save the world from mutant haters. Or, never see the rapture on a homemaker's face as she sits in Martha's audience and learn the 101 uses of lint. And, the thought of any young child not truly understanding the complex love triangle between Rachel, Ross, and Joey, was almost more than I could handle.
Because I love my children SO much, I don't want them to be media free. I want them to be as far from free as possible... bring on captivity... there are vital lessons being taught on over 500 channels. As far as I can tell, there is no time for anything but TV... those poor poor boys...

The One

I have always thought that Lexi could be classified as being 1 in a million. But, yesterday Dr. Jones set me straight that she is actually only 1 in about 600. That's right, about 1 in 600 kids are born with de-formed... mis-formed... oddly-formed fingers -I'm still looking for the best way to tell her that she is abnormal. I may take the same approach my parents used on me, but I'm not sure she is ready to hear she's an sweet spirited abnormality. What are the odds, that both Lex and I are the 1. Apparently the lottery existed in the creation, and YAY we won! I've never felt quite as lucky as I did when Dr. Jones was talking statistics... who wants to win a lottery that pays you money, when you can win one that will end up costing money in surgeries?
The appointment went well. Both David and I were impressed with the doctor. He recommended not doing both hands at once, but said in the end it is ultimately our decision. She will be in a full arm cast (shoulder to fingers) for about 2 weeks, and depending on where they graft the skin there will also be bandages.
He wants to operate on the right hand first - he thinks she may have motion and control in the ring finger, but with the webbing it's hard to tell. The left hand he thinks will turn out similar to my fingers. Looking at the xrays there is no rhyme or reason for the form and placement of the bones in the left finger, so with surgery he will align the bones so they can fuse straight. The first surgery will be between 12-18 months and the second at 2 years or later (maybe).
I have noticed that at these appointments for Lex, the doctors end up looking at my hands more than hers. I had hoped that my days of hearing doctors tell me how abnormal I am were behind me, but no such luck. All in all, it was a good visit. I think he ultimately agreed to see us just so that I would leave the office alone... good decision on his part.

Mind Over Matter

Recently, Alexis has been excising her independence (the only exercising going on around here, but no need to get into that at the moment), and she has taken a very strong stance against sleeping. I have decided she is bound and determined to be the world's youngest human rights activist, and apparently she knows her rights better than I do.

For about the past week and a half, she wants nothing to do with sleeping. People laugh and are shocked when I tell them we still swaddle her... apparently at 5 months the unwritten rule says it is no longer acceptable, but is now punishment - she can still move her neck, I'm not seeing the problem. I really think that is the only way we get her to sleep. Because she is not as petite as she once was, we actually have to wrap her in numerous blankets. Even then, come morning her arms and legs are free. I probably should not take it as a challenge, when I see she has once again freed herself; I'm fairly confident I can't get the blanket tight enough to cause real damage, and I am a sucker for a challenge.

She used to be on a very predictable schedule: eat, play, sleep. Now, she is all over the place. And, it is driving me absolutely nuts! I'm hoping it's just a phase, and the soon she will return to the lovable child I have come to be fairly fond of. However, if something doesn't change pretty quick, I may have to put her on ebay and see if I get any bids. I am really starting to think that motherhood would be an excellent reality show... can't imagine why no one's thought of it yet.

Happy Birthday!

Today is David's birthday - the big 26! We are both officially closer to 30 than to 20... how depressing! I will refer you to Merrilee's blog for pictures of the younger years, she has compiled an awesome slide show. Happy birthday Love! Looking back at how much you've accomplished in the last 26 years, I can't wait to see how the next 26 go... side by side, every step of the way.

Heads Held High

Alexis has a new way of getting around. I think that living in LA is rubbing off on her, and she is starting to believe herself above those around her. And, I just feel like one of those trained elephants...

A Walk on the Wild Side

Alexis and I decided to walk up to campus today, and have a picnic lunch with David. Since he has been studying so much, he doesn't have as much quality time with Lex, so she pencilled him into her busy schedule.

I was a little worried about the walk - David and I walked to campus only once before and it took almost 3 hours. Plus, you know these dangerous California streets. In the end though, we had a really good time. It took us about an hour to get to UCLA - things tend to move faster without David trying to slow me down and notice things - and the only inconvenience was the fact I was drenched with sweat when we arrived. I was shocked by how many people smiled at me because I was pushing a stroller. At one point someone even offered to buy Alexis. That, or she was actually asking me for money - looking back, I really can't be sure - but that may explain why she tried to trip me as I hurried by.

Once we met up with David, we found a little spot on upper campus and had our picnic. I have to admit that UCLA has a gorgeous campus - not only are the buildings beautiful, but the grounds are amazing. Both David and I came to the conclusion, that although we love BYU, UCLA has the more beautiful campus... tho, shockingly we were one of the only couples pushing a stroller.

We did walk past a display proclaiming that it is "sexuality awareness week" - planned parenting had a table set up with individuals talking to those that passed. For some odd reason, they started to approach us, but did an about-face when the stroller came into view. I probably should feel ignored or discriminated against, but frankly I'm quite content with having found Lex to be an excellent buffer from me having to talk to booth weirdos.

We finished off our adventure by visiting my old co-workers in Oral surgery. Lex did not preform well, and started crying the instant anyone looked at her. David just hung his head and kept mumbling something about how being antisocial was supposed to skip a generation. Come on man... look at the girl! Nothing has skipped a generation! Again, probably should have been offended, but I was too consumed with maternal pride to feel anything else.

We are home safe now, but have added our walk to campus as a weekly Friday tradition.

Fun in the Sun

Alexis and I could not pass up the weather today, and decided to take a break from our busy lives to sun bathe. Aside from the fact that we were wearing long pants and I was wearing a long sleeve shirt, we looked pretty natural out amidst all the other sun worshippers. Lex was intrigued with the grass, and the way the plants moved in the wind. I was intrigued that we were lucky enough to find an actual patch of grass in LA to sit on... oh, life's little pleasures.

I think that the high point of the outing would have been the exact moment I was holding Lex in the air above my head, and she threw up. Without a doubt, I can count that as one of those moments when my life flashed before my eyes - course a split second later all I saw before my eyes was white and slimy. I can't recall my life being filled with that much white goo before having a child... I keep trying to tell her one of these days she is going to have to start contributing more than just bodily fluids to this family. I could be wrong, but I have the distinct feeling she knows it's an empty threat.

Cry Baby

Lex got pretty emotional as I was cleaning out the fridge today. I think she has the makings of a pack rat - she was not to keen on the idea of throwing things out. I tried convincing her that the fuzzy white layer on most of the food was not in fact frosting, but she would not be pacified.
I had to capture her frowns... they are almost as cute as the smiles.

Mirror Mirror

I have found Alexis needs little more than a mirror to be entertained. I'm not sure she could be classified as "self-centered" because technically she has no idea the funny face in the mirror actually belongs to her. She loves to smile at, talk to, or even yell at her reflection - and she gets very frustrated when the reflection yells right back.

I am glad that she finds as much joy and entertainment in herself, as I find in her... I'm amazed how many days pass away sitting on the floor, and watching her discover the world. I think my world would be a better place if I could go back to the days when looking in the mirror was fun rather than depressing... just another lesson I am learning from the fairest of them all.

Barbie Girl

As time goes by I can definitely say that there are things about parenthood that I am getting more and more comfortable with. Changing a dirty diaper - no problem. Kissing a chubby face covered in slimy goo - sure, why not? Being an on call feeding station - bring it on!

However, there is one thing that, if possible, I am getting worse at, and that is getting Alexis dressed! I think that getting a baby dressed must be one of the unsung spiritual gifts, because I do not know how parents do it without it ending badly... as David's dad says, "it always ends in tears!"

I was actually much better with Barbies - may have had something to do with the detachable appendages. Heck, when you change a Barbie's clothes, just pop off the arms and legs, get the torso dressed, and pop everything back on... the head even conveniently comes off for the really technical outfits.

All these years, I thought that putting up with barbie and other dolls would have at least helped nurture a motherly instinct in me. However, I think that Barbie has ruined me, and poor Alexis is suffering the consequences... luckily, Lexi's arms and legs are attached pretty good.

Hand Off

After being told Dr. Jones would not be able to see Lex here at UCLA, we made one last effort to change his mind and emailed him. Last Wednesday night I could not sleep I was so frustrated with how things had turned out, so I decided to email Dr. Jones. I told him all about how things had played out, also included my own sad story (nothing like playing for a little sympathy), and even attached a few pictures of Lex's hands.

I really didn't have much faith that we would hear back from him - and if we were so lucky, I thought it would be just to say he was sorry but would only be able to see us in May at UCI. So, late Friday night when I turned on the computer and found an email from the Doctor, I was a little nervous to read it. Happily though, he has agreed to see Lex next week before he moves to UCI to become Orange County Pediatric Hospital's chief of orthopedic surgery.

We are very relieved that he is fitting Lex in. when it comes time for the actual surgery we will most likely have to go to Irvine, but at least we can get his opinions about her case next week.

Playin' Around

Say Ahhhhhhh

I cannot believe that David is almost half way through dental school. As each quarter begins and ends, I am more and more acutely aware of what it means to have married a dentist. I don't know that I really understood, when we were dating, how being married to a dentist would affect my life. In fact, I think David may have taken advantage of my naive, accepting nature... Of course, he knew what he was getting into. He knew there would be endless studying, pressure, and competition. But, I wonder if he ever thought of the strain, his being a dentist, would put on me?!?

It's not as glamorous as some may think - sure, there are the occasional conversations where others feel compelled to lower their gaze, because their husbands are merely in the law or business school. But, with the accelerated social status, also comes the responsibility of having to live with a dentist! Usually, people max out their desire to see the dentist at 2 appointments a YEAR. If you have to see them more than that, it's a punishment... try 365 appointments!

I have learned that flossing is a relationship breaker. Most married couple I know fight about money. Well, we fight about flossing. Each night, as I crawl into bed, I hear "have you flossed?". And, each night as I crawl out of bed to floss, I picture all of the ways I could inflict pain on my dentist WITH floss - it is actual quite a versatile instrument, I think.

I have also learned to take what comes out of a dentist's mouth in stride. Whether I am being educated about the latest oral diseases or taught the proper method of chewing - I can keep a pretty straight face. But, I think that the most memorable thing to come out of David's mouth lately, happened last night as he was saying our family prayer. He prayed that we would all have good health and effortlessly transitioned into praying that we "especially would have good oral health". Never before had I thought to pray for my oral health, but I guess there is one more thing to add to the list.

Hand To Hand Combat

We thought it would be good to keep everyone updated on what is happening with Alexis' hands. We were able to get Lex signed up for Medi-cal, but found out that UCLA does not accept Medi-cal - hours of paperwork gone to waste. Thankfully, we were able to add her to David's school insurance.

She was scheduled to meet with the leading hand specialist in the area (Dr. Jones) this week. However, I called to confirm her appointment and was told that it had been cancelled by the office, so we have been playing phone tag with Dr. Jones' assistant to find out what is going on.

I have been informed that our appointment was cancelled because the doctor is not accepting new patients - he is in fact going on sabbatical... helpful information 5 months ago when I called! Both David and I spoke to his assistant again today, and found out that he is transferring to UC Irvine. He said he would be happy to see Lex in May at UCI. The only catch now is, whether the UCLA insurance we signed her up for will allow us to see him there.

We are both frustrated that her appointment with Dr. Jones scheduled for this week was cancelled without our being notified. Apparently, it would have been way too convenient for us to drive 10 minutes to his UCLA office... things are much better this way with an hour commute to UCI; not to mention the new insurance angle thrown into the mix.

There is one other pediatric orthopedic surgeon at UCLA we made an appointment with (in June - his first opening), but as he is not a hand specialist, I am a bit wary. We have decided to keep pursuing Dr. Jones at least for a consult. However, if the battle continues, we may just let her try and gnaw all her fingers down to the same size...